” It’s totally normal to feel like you want to step on the brakes and proceed with caution.
Most experts agree that a recent divorce is one that happened within the last year or two.
You’ll need a lot of patience and will-power to overcome the drawbacks of dating a divorcee.
But if you’ve found yourself someone great, this really shouldn’t be so difficult.
If you’ve been dating for a while and are looking to continue seeing each other, especially if you are dating with the intention of looking for a life partner, it’s not unreasonable to ask about the circumstances of his divorce.
If, for example, his ex-wife is bitter about the divorce, it’s good to know that going into your relationship, because it will likely affect her feelings about you (if she knows about you) and (worst-case) how she treats her ex-husband and the kids.
Sometimes there are amicable divorces; sometimes there are epic divorces that last years and years with lots of “collateral damage.” But if you’re dating recreationally and not considering him as a long-term partner, then these questions might not matter as much, since you’re not concerned with long-term compatibility.
Unfortunately, his ex-wife cheated on him, and married her lover the day after their divorce was final.
I just wanted to know, in a general way, what does it take for a man to get over being cheated on by an ex-wife, particularly if it has been many years now, and he still seems to be putting up walls?
Your initial reaction to the idea of dating a divorced man might simply be – No thanks! The advantage of dating someone who has already been “down-the-aisle” is that in many aspects of our lives – we make mistakes, learn from them and try NOT to repeat them in the future.
It may be extremely difficult for him to learn to trust again. In most cases, his ex-wife is someone who will – in some way, shape or form! Whether they share kids, he pays her alimony or simply because she was a large part of his life…you have to accept the fact she is likely to show up from time-to-time.