(Seriously, my hangovers were baaaaaad.) I'm not sure whether I classified as an alcoholic.
I didn't have to drink every day, though most days I did. Sometimes it turned me into a yelling, crying beast.
I'd had enough embarrassing nights out; I'd woken up beside more than my fair share of unattractive strangers, and was, in turn, more than ready to bid farewell to the drunken rants, crying jags and battles with lovers, friends, cab drivers, cashiers and waiters.
I also thrilled at the notion of never having another hangover.
Unnatural and arbitrary hedonic management by substances or stereotyped processes distorts and cripples the psyche and places the individual at a grave survival disadvantage.
The addict is double-minded because he cannot really and truly desire recovery until he already has it.
Addictive behaviors such as smoking, drinking, drug use, overeating and other "quick fix" maneuvers aimed at rapidly and dramatically changing the individual’s emotional and hedonic state are natural and common targets for resolutions of reform, whether at New Year’s or any other time, to "do better," to "turn over a new leaf" or to "quit once and for all." And even more than in the case of the typical New Year’s resolution, the solemn promise of the substance(alcohol, nicotine, other drugs, food) or process(gambling, spending, sex) addict is well known by just about everyone familiar with such matters to be, more often than not, ‘writ in water.’ In addiction perhaps more than any place else, "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft aglay." Such natural and only too well justified skepticism about promises of reform on the part of those familiar with the addict does not necessarily include the addict himself, who may fervently and sincerely exclaim "I know I’ve said this before – and I know that you don’t believe me and that you are entitled not to believe me. Or if there is change, it is change for the worse: the addict’s outrageous addictive behavior sometimes seems almost to feed upon and draw nourishment from his passionate promises that "it will never happen again." This phenomenon leaves those who have to deal with the addict in a confused, discouraged, angry and usually depressed state.
A witness is often present for the signing of the contract.ACA meetings, while they include steps very similar to Al-anon and AA, may differ somewhat because ACA is based on the Laundry List.As to how many ACA meetings still use the steps Tony A outlined in his book, it’s unclear.He had special insight into what made adult children of alcoholic’s needs different, and did a remarkable job of articulating ACo A issues. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism d. We confuse love with pity and tend to “love” people who we can `pity” and “rescue”. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial). We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of the disease even though we did not pick up the drink. We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures.Or, maybe he was just a regular guy–but one who was willing to speak up. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process.